The Party

Thursday, July 20, 2023

Last May I was making good progress on my yard, and I figured it would be fun to throw a birthday party for Lisa in our back yard. Being my optimistic self, I figured that I could have the yard done with no problem. I recruited my kids who all thought it was a great idea. I figured we could just buy some finger food from Costco, and I could barbecue hamburgers, but Ben suggested that we should hire a taco truck. It cost more than I was expecting but thinking back, I am so glad that I didn’t have to spend the evening at the grill.

Of course, most of the kids had a conflict on the weekend after Lisa’s birthday so after some negotiating back and forth, we figured four of the five kids (and spouses) could make it June 30, the weekend before her birthday. With Alycia’s help we drafted up an invitation and I emailed it out on May 10. Here is a copy of the original invitation. 

Dear Friends & Family;

Lisa turns sixty this summer and the best gift I could give her is to let her celebrate this special occasion with as many friends and family as can make it.

While Lisa loves a good surprise party, her desire to get involved in everything will make it impossible to have a true surprise party. While she knows something is happening, she has no idea exactly what, or who will be there. If possible, please don't let her know that you are aware of anything, but if you slip, it is no big deal, like I said, she knows something is up.

The only gift she will want is your presence and friendship.

There is no way I can possibly know who all of Lisa's friends are, so if you know of someone who would like to be there, please forward this invite to them. Everyone is welcome.

Fred

Food will be served so please help me get enough food by letting me know if you will be there by clicking here.

Over the course of the next several weeks this invite was sent to 276 people. The response was fast and furious. Ultimately 179 people RSVP’d and 140 people confirmed that they would come. On June 5, I sent out a reminder to those people who never responded to the first invite.

Hello Friends & Family;

If you're getting this second message it is because I didn't hear from you after the first message. 
Just in case you do want to come and simply missed the first email I thought I'd send a reminder. 
Even if you can't make it you might want to click on the link below and send Lisa a message. 

Thanks for being an important part of her life.

Fred

As the big day approached I began to get nervous. Several issues arose that delayed my progress and the entire month of June I didn’t work a single hour on my smoker project and spent long days in my yard. It was back breaking work as well and it was a very miserable month for me but I kept telling myself that it was worth it. First, I wanted to do this for Lisa and second, I would have the rest of the summer to enjoy my beautiful yard. I guess a third would be that I didn’t want to embarrass myself in front of 140 people when they showed up.

The yard would never have been possible without the Andrew family. Jeff and his son Zander minister to our family and Jeff spent every Saturday and many week days and evenings in my back yard working with me.

This is even more of a sacrifice for him because he had two major herenia’s during the whole process. In fact he had hernia surgery on May 26. Even after his surgery he came over and did some work. He was in a lot of pain before and especially after his surgery. He may have violated his ten pound restriction on lifting.

While I didn’t expect this much help from Jeff and his family, I got very concerned when he was no longer able to help so much. Jeff did continue to send his wife and kids over to help and he would also come over in his zero gravity chair and supervise the operation but progress slowed a lot without his direct involvement.

Even still, it wasn’t two weeks before he was digging dirt and jack hammering concrete, something both me and Tiffany were really concerned about but there was no stopping him.

On June 28th Jeff, Tiffany and their oldest, Zack headed to Florida and I lost them completely. But I was able to get the yard in acceptable shape without them. The pavers arrived on June 20. I laid the last paver on June 27. The sod arrived June 28 and I laid the last piece of sod June 29th. The party started June 30th. That was curring it pretty close.

Kira and her kids arrived Sunday (June 25) and Alycia’s kids arrived June 28th after I had most of the sod down. Elle was completely amazed at the back yard and told me that I had done a great job and that I had the best back yard in the neighborhood. There are still a LOT of loose ends to be tied up in the yard but it was good enough to have the party there. I was a little worried what people would think so I sent the folllowing emial out on June 25 giving people a heads up.

Hello Friends,

Lisa's big party is just a few days away and I am getting excited. If you are getting this email it is because you confirmed that you will be joining us for the party. If things have changed that will prevent you from coming, please respond to this email and let me know.

As a reminder, the party is this Friday (June 30) at 6:00pm and will go as long as you want to stay. If you know Lisa, she will stay up all night visiting if someone will stay and visit with her.

Our address is:

13445 Thunderhead St

San Diego, CA 92129

I feel I need to give you a warning, I have been working on my backyard for a few years now and I thought this party would be a great time to show it off. I am an eternal optimist, so back in March when I decided to throw this party I figured I would have the backyard finished by June 30 with no problem. While my yard won't be finished, I think it will be good enough. All I ask is that you don't judge me too harshly when you see things that need more work.

I can't wait to see you all,

Fred

858-761-1990

The original invitation was sent out to the following people. While many of them were unable to come, due to distance and summer vacations, half of them made it. No one took a count but I would estimate that through out the evening we had about 120 people show up to say hi.

Karyn & Richard Alsup, Anne Anderson, Jeff & Tiffany Andrew, Tina Atwood, Danny Austin, Ashley & Ryan Aylesworth, Dave & Wendy Bagley, Judy Bair, Jim & Jeanette Bausum, France & Regan Beecroft, Warren & Frances Beecroft, Cindy Behr, Kevin & Linda Bessey, Alan & Melani Bird, Dana & Dave Black, Jesse & Holli Blankenbiller, Roberta Blazer, Rex & Chris Bosen, Rachel Bowman, Lori Brown, Jenn Berstedt, Kendalee Butler, Rick & Karen Cahoon, Connie & Dave Calder, Patrick Carey, Dave Chappell, Phil Cheung, Phylis Cheung, Liz Clark, Meagan Collins, Courtny Jennings, Frank Criger, Alycia Crowley, Trevor Crowley, Kandice Crowther, Shawn Crowther, Rick Daynes, Robin Daynes, Lorraine DiPietro, Pat Donahoe, Ruth Eden, Jearaldine Ellsworth, Ken Ellsworth, Dave Evans, Diane Evans, Heather Fabian, Omar Fabian, Carrie Farnes, Larry Farnes, Jay Farnes, Marla Farnes, Jessica Fietze, Jamie Foote, Kristin Foote, Ross Foote, Leslie Garcia, Carol Gibb, Don Gibb, Michelle Godinho, Greg Gosch Pam Gosch, Gail Graves-Street, Erin Gray, Matt Gray, Mike Gray, Niki Gray, Marlin Griffin, Susan Griffin, Todd Groesbeck, Pam Hall, Anna Hamrick, Arlen Hansen, Brian Hansen,Caitlin Hansen, Greg Hansen, Cami Hansen, Mark Hansen, Dixie Hansen, Eric Hansen, Jeff Hansen, Brenda Harris, Rachel Hartenstein, Brad Hatch, Patti Hatch, Mary Ann Havertz, Brent Haws, Connie Haws, Ariel Hawthorn, Dave Hawthorn, Gaylene Hawthorn, Ben Heaton, Desiree Heaton, Lorraine Henry, Lacy Hilton, Rob Hilton, Jim Hodder, Lori Hodder, Barbara Hodges, Carol Hudson, Derek Hunsaker, Jennifer Hunsaker, My-Nga Ingram, Lea Jack, Andrea Jackman, Robin Jackman, Bev Jafek, Rob Jafek, Diedra Jarding, Jason Jardine, Cathy Jarmin, Doug Jarmin, Sunny Jerome, Alyson Johnson, Courtney Johnson, Jamie Johnston, Spencer Johnston, Andre Jones, Lisa Jones, Kathy Marx, Kyle Knaphus, Rebecca Knaphus, Brenda Knowlton, Becky Kooyman, Carsten Kooyman, Sandesh Kukian, Yuli Kukian, Kathy Lam, Alex Leavitt, Ally Leavitt, Andrew Leavitt, Ben Leavitt, Brandon Leavitt, Byron Leavitt, Fred Leavitt, Gaylia Leavitt, Greg Leavitt, Jared Leavitt, Lisa Leavitt, Michael Leavitt, Peter Leavitt, Phillip Leavitt, Robert Leavitt, Serene Leavitt, Sharley Leavitt, Shelly Leavitt, Irene Leung, Gloria Lew, York Lew, Bill Libby, Dolly Libby, Dave Lilly, Joni Lilly, Claudia Lincoln, Nancy Linnell, Randy Linnell, Dave MacMartin, Kathy Madsen, Randy Madsen, Tess Mahlo, Kathy Marx, Curtis McConnell, Thomas McCormack, Vicky McCormack, Craig McPhie, Marilyn McPhie, Kelli Mergens, Dave Moehle, Diane Moehle, Nancy Mori, Steve Mori, April Muir, Rick Muir, Rachel Neumann, Fara Nickyforuk, Alan Norton, Gary Norton, Pat Norton, Steve Norton, Louise Nygaard, Marty Nygaard, Many Odenwalder, Peter Odenwalder Erin Okane, Lauren Olds, Richard Olds, Aaron Olsen, Cari Olsen, Justin Palmer, Kira Palmer, Jared Papin, Monica Papin, Laura Peterson, Linda Peterson, Scott Peterson, Dave Pine, Tracy Pine, Wendy Pine, Stephani Pitman, Roger Platt, Wendy Platt, Dan Poffenberger, Laura Pomeroy, Time Pomeroy, Ariel Racine, Caroll Richardson, Marie Riches, Mark Riches, Bob Riding, Diane Riding, Susan Rose, Kelly Roundy, Mickey Rowe, Tiffany Russel, Mahonry Sanchez, Molley Sanchez, Melissa Sander-Hansen, Beth Sczempka, Joe Sczempka, Tamara Seiter, Lexi Sharp, Steve Sharp, Boyd Shaw, Carol Shaw, Stacee Shiner, Marissa Shoemaker, Rebecca Smith, Monetta Smoot, Karla Somerfeldt, Del Stapley, Shelley Stapley, Shannon Stoven, Amy Summers, Mark Sutherland, Tricia Sutherland, Kari Swendsen, Sam Taylor Sarah Taylor, Mackenzie Tereault, Bill Tolley, Janet Tolley, Becky Tueller, John Tueller, Melinda Turnwall, Courtney Velez, Lindsey Walker, Dave Walton, Sarah Walton, Sadie Walton, Shane Walton, Stacy Walton, Claudia Warner, Dave Warner, Darren Wilcox, Tami Wilcox, Barbie-Jo Williams, Jonathan Williams, Jeff Winter, Lisa Winter, Ken Wolsey, Tricia Wolsey, Leila Yekrangian, Gus Zanini, Jennifer Zanini.

Kira really wanted to get rid of mom while we set up and while we couldn’t surprise her about the party she could at least be surprised by the taco truck and the number of people who would be here. We finally decided to have Desiree take her and bring her back at around 6:15. It was perfect because we already had a good crowd by then.

The evening was mosty just people standing around visiting. It was good because there were people from all over the stake and it was a sort of reunion. The people were sorted into four groups.

· Our church friends,
· Our temple friends,
· Our kids friends and their families,
· Lisa’s work friends.

What was fun is that many of the people from the different groups actually knew each other.

This slide show was running during the party.

This is a short video summary of the evening.

Here are some random pictures from the evening.

Donna Grayce Kesler

Thursday, July 14, 2023

The first experience I want to share was Friday morning, June 30, 2023. Those who attended the temple were Lisa and I, Kira and Justin, Ben, Brandon, and Ally. We had a baptistry appointment for 9:00 and we had Justin baptize Brandon for some of Grandmas relatives and then Brandon baptized Ally for Donna. We all stood around the font and enjoyed the amazing spirit that was present. I felt the spirit while Donna’s relatives were being baptized, but the spirit was nearly overwhelming when Ally was baptized for Donna.

Next, we had Ben confirm everyone who had been baptized. Again, the spirit was especially strong when Ally was confirmed for Donna. We sent most of the names that had been baptized in to be recorded but hung onto Donna’s and two of the men’s names to continue to initiatory and the endowment. I took another name who had been previously baptized.

While the girls were doing the initiatory work for Donna, Brandon and Justin did the initiatory work for the two names that had been baptized. We arrived at the endowment room just as the patrons were filing into the room. At first, we just headed into the room with everyone else but then we noticed that the girls weren’t there. We left the room and talked to the workers letting them know that our wives were missing.

The brother worker said that we could wait a couple of minutes for them, but the sister worker said that they had to start the session right now and that we would need to catch the next session.

I wasn’t too worried because we did have time to catch the next session, but we had friends already seated in the session room and I didn’t want to go through the confusion and disruption of pulling them out of the session or even just letting them know that we would be in the next session.

As it happened, the two workers argued back and forth long enough that just as they were about to close the doors on us, the women showed up. It was an amazing session and while I didn’t have any strong feelings one way or the other about Donna’s relative that I was taking through, I did feel Donna’s presence there.

Lisa told me that she had expected to be overwhelmed by the spirit during the endowment session like she has been previously with other special endowments, but she wasn’t. Instead, she felt her mother’s presence but had the impression that Donna was listening closely to the endowment, focused on learning as much as she could. Once Lisa was presented at the veil however it was very different. She felt Donna’s presence so strongly that she could hardly speak.

Finally, we all met up in sealing room 5. We had requested Craig McPhie as our sealer and attending in the sealing room was Lisa and myself, Kira and Justin, Brandon and Ally, Ben, Desiree Heaton and Dave and Diane Evans. Lisa had invited Desiree because she knew and loved Donna and the Evans were invited because they bought Lisa’s very expensive, last minute plane ticket to get Lisa to Canada during covid before she died. That was the last time Lisa saw her mother in this life.

Before we did Donna’s sealing, we sealed three or four other families and various people in the room acted as proxy. They were all relatives of Donna’s, and we did them all as entire families. It was very special, and the spirit was strong.

Finally, we sealed Donna to her parents. I acted as a proxy for Donna’s father, Arthur Kesler, Kira acted proxy for Donna’s mother, Alice Logan, and Lisa acted proxy for her mother.

Lisa thought she would cry through the entire ordinance but instead she couldn't help but smiling. The spirit was powerful. I knew that Donna was there and that she fully accepted this ordinance and the blessings associated with it. After the ceremony I walked over to where Desiree was standing and she grabbed my arm and said, “Fred, I saw Donna, she was sitting in that chair right there with a big smile on her face. She was wearing that yellow dress that she loves.” We briefly talked about that experience when Brandon and Ally rushed over to me and Brandon said, “Dad, I saw grandma, she was standing right next to mom, and she had a hand on moms’ shoulder.” The place where Brandon said he saw Donna was essentially the same place where Desiree said that she saw Donna.

It was an amazing experience.

Recap

Thursday, July 13, 2023

Wow, what a wonderful, stressful, painful and glorious month this has been. I hope I can remember half of what has gone on. Let me try and recap, I hope I get the dates right and that I don’t miss anything.

Ben and his family arrived on June 8 and then they left for ten days in London and Paris while we watched their kids. This was a celebration of their 15th wedding anniversary. They returned June 16th.

June 23 Lisa flew to SLC to put on a baby shower for Princess Lisa, she returned June 26.

Kira and her kids showed up June 25th.

On Sunday, June 25th I got a message that President Isaac from the stake presidency wanted to meet with Lisa and I so we set up a meeting for June 27th. There was a lot of speculation within the family about who was getting a stake calling, me or Lisa. It turned out that I was called to be the second councilor in the Bishopric. Boy was that a shock to me.

My pavers arrived June 20 and I laid the last paver on June 28. My sod arrived June 28 and I laid the last piece of sod June 29.

I think Alycia and her family arrived on Wednesday.

Thursday Brandon and Ally flew in, and I think Trevor also flew in. Ben, Kit and Justin arrived late that day.

Friday morning, we had an amazing experience in the temple performing Lisa’s mother’s temple ordinances.

Around 5:45 well over 100 people started arriving at our house to celebrate Lisa’s 60th birthday.

July 1st Kira and Justin flew to Hawaii to celebrate their 20th wedding anniversary and left their kids with us.

July 2nd Ally & Brandon flew home, and Landon flew to Canada. Alycia and her family left for Legoland and Ben drove home.

July 5th we celebrated Queen Lisa’s actual birthday

July 7th Lisa flew to Texas to watch Brandon’s kids

July 9th Kira and Justin flew home

July 10th Justin flew home to Chandler

July 11th was our 42nd wedding anniversary

July 12th Kira and her family drove home

July 13th, today I am entirely alone and I’m quite enjoying it.

Now I will try and describe this period of time in greater detail. It was wonderful.

--------------------trivia--------------------

If you dug a hole to the center of the Earth and dropped a book down, 

it would take 42 minutes to reach the bottom.

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My Yard

Tuesday, June 6, 2023

For years we’ve been wanting to fix up our backyard. When we bought this house in 1995 the backyard was beautiful, and we had a beautiful deck overlooking the canyon. The yard and the canyon it overlooked were a big part of our decision to buy the home.

As the kids grew up, they had big parties here, dances on the deck and games in the yard, it was wonderful. Over the years, age began to take its toll. The beginning of the end of the old yard was prompted by a huge ornamental fig tree (Ficus Benjamina) that stood close by the house. I guess it is sometimes called a weeping fig. The kids climbed it all the time and Sarah and I had built a tree house in it.

Near the end, the tree was probably thirty feet tall, and its root system was all near the surface. We had exposed roots running all across the lawn. They ran under our patio and were lifting and cracking it. The canopy was so large that it shaded the entire back yard and rubbed on the roof of the house when the wind blew. It got to the point that I was unable to keep the grass alive because it didn’t have enough light. I was also worried that the roots would go under the house and crack the slab. The tree had to go.

This was a whole new problem; this tree was huge and had a natural lean towards Godinho’s house. The last thing I wanted to do was land it on their house, but I also didn’t want to land it on my house either. I, of course, had plans to bring it down myself. I could shimmy up the tree, tie a rope around the top of the tree and tie it off in a place that would not allow it to fall in the wrong direction. Simple, eh? Once I cut it off near the ground, I could simply pull on the rope and get it to fall away from the houses. Well, Mom wasn’t as confident as I was so the next thing I knew Ben showed up to help me with the tree, and to keep me alive.

At Ben’s insistence the tree came down one branch at a time. If I had any doubt that we needed to bring it down one branch at a time, all doubt vanished when I was pulling on a single branch while Ben cut it off and the entire rope ripped out of my hand. There was no way I could ever have controlled the entire tree.

So, in early 2020 Lisa and I made a plan to redo our back yard. It took most of 2020 for me to rebuild our deck and then most of the next two years to build block walls around the yard and terraces on the uphill side of the yard and then work sped up quickly in early 2023 when my mistering brother, Jeff Andrew and his entire family made it their goal to help me complete the back yard. We are now on the final step where I lay down pavers.

The biggest reason this whole project has taken so long is because I am doing it on a shoestring budget. I only buy blocks as I can afford them but now with the pavers I kind of need to lay them all at once. A year or so ago Lisa and I visited all the landscaping companies in the area and decided that the Rumble Stone paver sold by Home Depot was the one we liked the best and that was also within our budget.

Saturday I was in the Home Depot, and I figured since I needed to buy pavers this week, I should get a final price. I knew that the portion of my yard that was to be pavers was about 1,300 ft2 so when I learned that the bulk price for the pavers was around $8.75/ft2, a quick calculation in my head told me that this would be over $10,000. I almost passed out right then and there.

My goal is to have the yard mostly ready for Lisa’s birthday party on June 30. I have sent out 264 invites and I have nearly 100 people confirmed to attend. If I don’t have the yard at least somewhat presentable by then, I am in big trouble. As I was standing in the Home Depot the following scripture came to my mind.

28 For which of you, intending to build a tower, sitteth not down first, and acounteth the cost, whether he have sufficient to finish it?

29 Lest haply, after he hath laid the foundation, and is not able to finish it, all that behold it begin to mock him,

30 Saying, This man began to build, and was not able to finish.

I didn’t have $10,000 and I had no idea what to do. Because I didn’t want to turn away 100 people from the party, and I was embarrassed I immediately got a line of credit at the Home Depot so at least I knew I could buy the pavers, but I didn’t really need a loan I had to pay off.

I couldn’t sleep Saturday night and it ruined my Sunday and I tossed and turned Sunday night and then first thing Monday morning I started making calls. Finally, I found some good alternatives at RCP Block and Brick and with KRC Rock. I had Lisa look at the options and we are now going with the Catalan paver from RCP Block and Brick. It is more in line with my budget and with what I was expecting to pay.

So now I am a bit more relaxed and once again I’m enjoying the prospect of this big party for Lisa. It is impossible to have a true surprise party for her because she insists on knowing everything that’s going on. I’m certain she knows that we are doing something on June 30 because I have told her can’t book anything for that evening, but she has no idea just who is coming and what is happening.

I’ll keep you updated.

----------trivia----------

And there’s enough water in Lake Superior to cover all of North and South America in one foot of water.

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St George Trip

Tuesday, May 30, 2023

It has been a while since we have seen Alycia and her family, and this was a long weekend, so we decided to drive up to St George and give them a visit. It is only a six-hour drive but with our work schedules we always seem be leave on a Friday afternoon and the weekend traffic turns it into an eight or nine hour drive.

Before we left however, we had to check out two things. First, Lisa got some praying mantis eggs, and they should have hatched a while ago, so before she went into work we had to check them out. If they had hatched over the weekend, they would have all died so she was going to take them in to Dave McMartin on Friday morning. Well guess what, they were hatching as we woke up Friday morning.

We stuck them in the lemon tree so they could feast on the aphids that are trying to kill my tree.

The second was Lisa’s roses that she had planted in memory of her mother. She has been waiting for some time for them to bloom. I guess it is that season.

It seems like it happened over night, but it was definitely in bloom as we headed up the road.

Other than being two hours longer than it should have been, the drive-up was uneventful, and we were in bed at Alycia’s shortly after midnight. After a nice and relaxing morning with a delicious breakfast of French toast, we decided to hike to the top of a volcano. It was pretty cool. From what I can find this particular volcano formed about 30,000 years ago but volcanic action in the St George area started about one and a half million years ago.

The hike up was fairly easy, and it was only a mile and a half long, but I suspect it was more difficult for Lisa since she had three little kids hanging on her.

Sunday was a more relaxed day. We played a game with the kids that Lisa had bought for them. It was called, “Cover Your Cookies”. To make the game more fun Lisa bought some “Crumbl Cookies” that we could eat while playing the game.

Monday morning we had a relaxed morning and we got on the road around 10:00. It took us over nine hours to get home. We knew it would be a long drive home because it was a long weekend.

We found this sign near the town of Veyo. We went to Veyo after our hike to eat some of their world-famous pies. They were good.

---------------trivia---------------

If the sun was the size of an atom, and our galaxy was sized proportionately, the galaxy would be the size of a football stadium.

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