Dad, Tell Me About the Time (38)

Tuesday, September 10, 2024

What is the key to being happy in a marriage?

If you are more concerned about the welfare of your spouse than you are about your own welfare then you will always be happy. Every marriage will have its ups and downs and if both partners in the marriage are worried about themselves then they will often feel like they are getting the short end of the deal. If both partners are more worried about their spouse then even if their spouse is having a bad day they are being cared for. It might get rough if both partners are having a bad day but hopefully that doesn’t happen too often.

What do you wish you had known before you got married?

I’m not sure what I wish I had known, but the one thing I have struggled with my whole life is listening. I am much better at it than I was forty years ago but I have a tendency to worry more about what I’m going to say next than I am about what the other person is saying to me. What I need to do is listen intently to what the other person is saying and after they have said their piece then think about what they said before I respond.

By doing this you not only hear what the other person is saying, but they can tell that you are listening. I have often thought it would be cool to be able to read other peoples minds but truly listening to them is almost as good. This is the best way to know what they are thinking. A good listener can eventually learn to read between the lines and know what the other guy is truly feeling.

Being a good listner is always good but it is truly amazing with your own family members.

When you first met your spouse, what did you think?

In the following order I thought:

1) This girl is cute
2) This girl is friendly
3) This girl makes my heart speed up
4) Too bad this girl isn’t older
5) Who cares how old she is

Who initiated your first kiss? How and where did it happen?

Didn’t I already talk about this? Fine, I will talk about it again.

It was in Lethbridge after one of our very first dates. We had parked in front of Lisa’s grandma Ahmeads house and we were talking. I leaned in for a kiss and she did respond and it was a nice kiss but then she hit me.

After she hit me she was kind of embarassed and then she kissed me. I think it was very confusing for both of us.

What feature of your spouse were you attracted to initially?

The thing that I love most about mom, even today, is the thing that attracted me to her the moment I met her. It is also a “skill” that I am not very good at. While it is still one of the things I love most about mom, it is at the same time one of the things that can be most frustrating.

Mom can be anywhere and with anyone and she instantly strikes up a conversation and in a short time, she can know everything about them and about their family. I think that is amazing. It happens in lines, at parties and at work functions. I will stand in that line for hours and not say a word. Mom will be their new best friend.

While I think it is amazing, it can be frustrating. We can be at some meeting and at the end of the meeting mom gets talking to some complete stranger and an hour after the meeting is over, she is still talking. Meanwhile I’m about ready to fall asleep on my feet.