Dad, Tell Me About the Time (80)

Monday, October 6, 2025

What do you want your spouse to remember when you are gone?

When I am gone I want Lisa to remember how much I love and adore her. She has made me the man I am today and without her my life would have been quite boring. She has given me six beautiful and good children who each have beautiful and good children of their own. She is at the heart of my every joy.

What was the happiest time of your life?

Today is the happiest time of my life. I look at my life today with a tremendous amount of joy. I love where I have ended up. I love where I am in my church, I love my relationship with my God. I love my children and it brings me joy that they are all successful both in their careers and with their families. I love my marriage and I have enjoyed a career that has brought me a lot of satisfaction. I have always been able to pay my bills and we have always been able to purchase anything that we really need.

While that is all true, I’m sure the question is asking about what perhaps my favorite period in my life was. I would have to say that was probably the time just before Kira left for college. My children were all at home where I could enjoy their presence every day. They were old enough that I could have a meaningful relationship with each of them and it was so much fun.

What was the saddest?

That would probably be the period in my life when each of my children left home. It was exhilerating to watch them leave and stand on their own. It was satisfying to watch them succeed at school and in their careers and to watch them become parents and start beautiful little families of their own but I was also sad to have them all so far away.

What family values do you hope your children will continue for generations in the future?

As Lisa and I raised our children we did our very best to be a part of their lives. We supported them in their chosen activites, (sports or music) and we did our best to be aware of their joys or sorrows. We had an intimate discussion with each of them almost daily and we were usually aware of their trials and joys. It is my hope that they are able to do the same with their own children.

Do you have a living trust or will?

We are working on that. It isn’t done yet but we have recorded what our wishes are.

Is your estate planning complete?

My estate consists of my house which has appreciated considerably. That makes my estate planning simple.

Where do you keep important documents and keepsakes?

My keepsakes are scattered around the house so they will be lost in the case of a fire but all my important documents are digitized and stored in the cloud. On my computer I have a dropbox folder and under that is a folder called family. That is where everything of any consquence is stored.

What unique heirlooms are cherished by your family? Where are they now?

We don’t have anything of any value but there are a few items that different kids cherish. What I am doing is taking pictures of each item that I think someone might value and then asking each kid to let me know just how much they like that item. Based on their response my will has an appendix where these items are listed along with who we want to have it. The list includes things like an original portrait of Lisa’s 2nd great grandparents and their family, Lisa’s great grandpa’s rifle that he had in WWI, my belt buckles, my paintings, a huge family portrait from when Kira was a senior in highschool and things like that.

These items are scattered throughout the house.

What do you wish most for your children?

My wish is that my kids will love their children as much as I love them.

What are you doing today to build a legacy that you want to leave behind?

I don’t really have a legacy. I’m not even sure I know what that means. I just want to be remembered as a man who loved his Lord and loved his family. I have done a lot of stupid things in my life, but I am trying hard to be a good man. I hope my loved ones are able to see that.

If you could share one message with your children and grandchildren that would remain in their hearts and minds forever, what would it be?

Your Heavenly Father loves you and He wants you to be happy. He communicates his love and will to you through the Holy Spirit and if you make the Holy Spirit your constant companion, then you will always have joy and peace. You will be able to always have this peace and joy even has you navigate through the most difficult trials, if you only let the Holy Spirit guide you.

I guess if I were to summarize this in one sentence it would be:

You can’t have a better friend than The Holy Spirit, get to know Him, listen to Him and do what he tells you to do.

Your Heavenly Father loves you and I love you. We will both always be there for you.