The House of Oz Strikes

One day we decided that we would play a trick on the girls who lived in the house. Being a bunch of engineers we had no problem breaking in so one night when we knew the girls were out we broke into their house. We played every trick that we could think of. I'm sure I'm forgetting some of them but the ones I remember are:

put honey on the earpiece of the telephone
put gelatin in the toilet bowl so the water gels
put a garlic clove in the shower head
put a dime in the kitchen sink faucet so that water would shoot out the aerator
used a syringe to inject methyl blue into their Twinkies, methyl blue makes your pee turn blue. We were going to use methyl red but we decided it might not be cool to make them pee red.
put tartaric acid in an open bottle of pop. Tartaric acid tastes very bitter.
we removed all of their light bulbs and hid them
took all of their records out of their covers and put them back in the wrong covers, they had over a hundred records
we put computer punch (this was in the days of punch cards) all over their carpet
we had itching powder to put in their underwear drawers but we chickened out of that.

We then hid outside their house until they came home. The reaction we got was somewhat unexpected. At least it was unexpected for the naive 18 year old I was at the time. Now that I'm a bit older it was exactly what I would expect now. Some of the girls laughed and thought it was funny. Some of them were quite distraught and started to cry. My biggest surprise was how angry some of them got. A couple of the girls were spitting flames. We felt a bit guilty so we decided to help them clean up. They had lit some candles before we figured out where we had hid the light bulbs and sadly, one of the girls who had very long and beautiful hair caught her hair on fire. She wasn't hurt but then she too started to cry. I was feeling a bit low by this point but I still thought it was very funny. I was smart enough not to laugh though and I put on my best remorseful face. We got the lights on and as we were trying to clean up the computer punch, the phone rang. No one said anything as we watched the girl put the phone to her ear and get honey all over the side of her head. Again, I refrained from laughing. Luckily she was one of the ones who thought it was funny although she did not think the honey was funny. As we continued cleaning, another girl took a drink of her pop. She immediately spit it out and poured the rest down the drain. To my horror she then took her Twinkies and threw them out. Hating to see a good Twinkie go to waste I grabbed one out of the garbage and ate it. I was a bit disappointed, my pee wasn't blue but rather more of a green. I guess blue plus yellow makes green. We got the computer punch cleaned up but we did leave the record albums, jello toilet bowl and shower head in place. Someone managed to find the dime in the faucet before we left. It all made for a rather exciting evening. I decided then that I wanted to make sure than I married a woman with a good sense of humor and not one of the cry babies or angry type. Lisa would normally take most of those jokes in stride but I have to admit, if I caught her on the wrong day I might not want to be too close.

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Many of the powers portrayed on the weekly show Heroes are technically possible today. The regenerative powers of Claire is a power we already possess — we are just slower to heal. Hiro's teleportation has been achieved, at least in the subatomic world, and metamaterials with negative refractive indexes promise invisibility for all. Other powers, such as the ability to steal memory, are already with us in the form of drugs that help victims of trauma to forget.

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